we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
