he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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