The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
