Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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