Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
