She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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