Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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