Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
