i think my tv is drunk
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
