Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
