how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
