this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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