My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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