As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
