ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
