currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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