Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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