How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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