I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
