I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
PANTIES FOUND
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
