My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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