Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
