R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
