Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
