He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
