If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
did i walk over a car last night?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
