So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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