I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
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Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
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I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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