That's when you crack a 10am beer
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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