If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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