I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize