Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
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I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
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No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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