that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
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