don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
