if i can run in heels then i can drive
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize