are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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