I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
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He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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