I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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