and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
