So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
