unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
