I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
