I'm pants shitting drunk right now
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize