She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
