I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
