She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Banned from zoo.
Again?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
