Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
