I just saw a hot homeless man
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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