..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
