i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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