508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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