Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
