She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
