I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
