do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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