Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
