Everything about him screamed your future.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
